I’d promised my kids a trip to Dollywood Splash Country after they’d seen some show about it on TV about the top 10 water parks in the country and it's all they could talk about they were so excited. Sadly, it did not live up to everyone’s expectations which is what usually happens with these large over hyped activities. As we do at every water park, we staked out our chairs and the kids were off and running. About 20 minutes later the kids came running back and the verdict was in. Thumbs down. The rides weren't great and I think the kids did not like the atmosphere in general. To illustrate the point, I went to the snack stand while my kids were running around. On my way back to our chairs, I suddenly felt my back sprayed with cold water. I turned around to find a smirking 10 or 11 yr. old with the early signs of a beer belly holding a squirt toy. I looked at the mom, and said to her, "Seriously, do you think that's ok? Aren't you even going to say something to your kid? Instead she turned toward me, and told me "It's no big deal it's only water " and then proceeded to punctuate her statement with the "b" word. I was fuming mad and was totally ready to unleash, when I realized this would probably turn into a beat down and one that I'd lose given the size of the woman. I dialed it down and returned to my seat. Speaking to the management at the park, I was told this is a common occurrence for which there was no remedy. After a few rides, the kids were done and we realized it was a very expensive letdown.
Feeling down but not out, we headed over on the shuttle bus to Dollywood hoping for a better experience. Dollywood is a lot like Disneyland. Everything costs a fortune, and all the rides have enormous lines. I had to spend $60 for lunch for the four of us, and it was really hard to find healthy nutritious food. We happened upon a BBQ stand that had some roasted chicken. It was mediocre at best and certainly not worth $60. Still hungry after our meal, the kids rode on a few rides like the log flume and the raging river but all in all it was a complete bust.
The only thing positive we got out of it was that Dolly Parton is one shrewd businesswoman, and a very talented lady. I think the hardest part was seeing the tons of people who you know just don’t have the money to afford a park like this coming here and being squeezed for every nickel and dime for food, snacks, souvenirs, and the like when they could be exploring and learning so much more by taking educational road trips like we do. I know my kids sensed that right off the bat and they felt bad about it. As a mom, I am proud that my kids are grounded enough that they recognize what's going on. You don’t need the glitz and glamour to have a good time, and if you can learn something—even better. What so ironic is that Dolly herself grew up in poverty, deriving simple pleasures from the area around her home. Are you listening Dolly?
